>Actual conversation with the local phone/DSL customer service dude:
Me: I’d like to disconnect my phone service and DSL.
Fone Dood: What is the reason you’d like to cancel your service?
Me: I’m moving.
Fone Dood: Would you like to transfer your service to your new residence?
Me: No thank you. I’m moving in with someone who already has service set up.*
[Some trading of highly classified information ensues.]
Fone Dood: So, now that we have that information, we can have your service cancelled by tomorrow morning.
Me: GOOD GOD, NO! The end of the month, PLEASE!
Fone Dood (wryly): You’re just trying to be difficult aren’t you?
Damn, what would I do if I didn’t have internet access this month? Oh, I know, not annoy you with utterly mindless posts, that’s what.
*That would be the mustachioed Bullock.