So Bullock and I finally tied the knot after eight years and two months of being together and five years and five months of living together. We’re slow. Plus, we had our misgivings about the necessity of the state recognizing our relationship. But a few months ago we were sitting down to put our financials in better order — in particular, to finally make sure we were each other’s beneficiaries on a whole lot of things, since we *weren’t* married — and one of us said, “This would probably be easier if we were married.” And the other said, “Yeah, probably. Do you want to get married?” And the first one said (OK, *I* said), “I’m 100% sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I have my misgivings about marriage as a legal institution, especially since it’s only available to heterosexual couples in most states, but I guess I’m over 50% positive about it as an institution.* So OK, yeah, let’s do it!”
*As one of my friends and colleagues put it later, her favorite part of marriage is that it allows you to legally choose who you want as family. I like that part, too — now, if only everyone could get married.
Anyway, we decided at the time, vaguely, that we’d do a simple civil ceremony in the next few months — just the two of us — and throw a party (like a reception without the ceremony) later on down the road. We roughly had October or November in mind as the time to get married, but as the semester wore on, time kept slipping away. And then we made the offer on the new house and set the closing date for November 30 (just a few more days! squee!) and realized, oops, we better get married before that, because doing the title deed, and blah, blah, blah, will be much easier if we’re married. And then the *only* weekday we both had free — because we have opposite teaching schedules and we each had various service and other commitments on all the Fridays in October and November — was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Luckily, the courthouses were open that day, so that’s when we did it — Wednesday, November 23, 2011. Definitely something to be thankful for!
We celebrated later with dinner out at one of our favorite local restaurants after coming home to take some formal pictures with Bullock’s home studio set-up (the picture above comes from that set). It was just us all day — we eloped, essentially — but we do want to celebrate with family and friends at some point. Just not in the middle of a semester! (I don’t know how Flavia did it!) Even the simple elopement took a lot out of us. We’ve been taking it easy this holiday weekend since. We spent Thanksgiving alone together, too: Bullock made turkey breast sous-vide style with butter, salt, and pepper, along with cranberry chutney and more traditional mashed potatoes with turkey gravy (he used turkey parts baked in the oven for that — you can’t get gravy from the sous vide machine), and I contributed Brussel sprouts sauteed in butter and garlic with a splash of red wine vinegar. (In case you haven’t noticed before, Bullock is the real cook around here.) We drank one of our favorite wines and sat in front of the TV and watched the Star Trek: Next Generation marathon while we ate — we’re kind of low-key like that. So no traditional honeymoon trip as of yet. There’s just no time!
So, if you’ve been wondering where I’ve gone to and why I haven’t posted lately, between the usual semester craziness, plus buying the new house, plus getting married…well, it’s been an eventful semester! Obviously a *good* eventful semester, but a little crazy-making, too!